Talking about what matters at end of life might feel really hard. But don’t leave these discussions for later. When it comes to palliative care, dying and funerals early conversations make a great difference to family and friends later. Have a look at my book ‘Death, a love project, a guide to exploring the life in death and finding the way together’ – it’s full of material that will help you to make decisions and talk with significant others about.

Palliative care

In the video I want to share with you, you’ll find others talking about what matters at end of life. To them … everyone has a different way of thinking about this.

One of my very old friends is in the movie! I’ve known Priscilla since my early days in Australia. She’s a wonderful woman and her fella’s great too.

In fact a  key premise of this little movie is that everyone will have a family, a partner, a son or a daughter to share thoughts with. Well, actually that’s not true. And that everyone will be looked after by family when it comes to end of life. No, they might be in the care of their friends.

Many of us are single. Many of us don’t have children.We may not have contact with family of origin.

Planning ahead, talking about what matters at end of life … to you

Over three meetings I helped a friend from Canada, who was not in a relationship at the time, to consider what mattered most to him at end of life. We thought together about it until he was able to state clearly on paper his no. 1 wish, and all the other things that he’d want his friends to know and act on on his behalf. He’d already chosen an executor and a medical power of attorney. But now he could instruct them on his no. 1 wish and on many points, including palliative care, his cremation, his memorial service and so on.

My friend is dead now. And his planning made an immense difference to everyone who helped him through his final days, and came together afterwards to organise things. It was inspiring.

It’s part of our service to be there to help with thinking through choices, if you’d like to have a consultation well ahed as he did and do some planning. What feels right to you is what is right, and getting it on paper creates peace of mind. You might find a book like the Good Funeral Guide helpful. Produced in the UK, the hope is that everyone will have better funerals through having access to the information they need. The photo below appeared on their blog in 2012!


Choices - bike hearse

Thanks to the Good Funeral Guide – a trusty well-used bike hearse.